I grew up in Kentucky in a very conservative community where homosexuality was condemned. I spent roughly the first 20 years of my life convincing myself I was straight. But, one day, 34 years ago, a friend suggested I try out a bar in downtown Louisville where I could be around others like me.
I parked blocks away and hid my face walking there, so nervous that someone I knew would see me and where I was going.
But, after 15 minutes in the bar, that anguish melted away when I met the man of my dreams. I could not take my eyes off of him and, eventually, we got to talking. Paul was in town visiting his brother and I was at my first gay bar. What were the odds this would work out? We spent the entire evening in conversation, and, 34 years later, we are happily married, having raised four beautiful children together.
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The conversation that started the night has never ended. I am still enchanted by him and forever grateful to whatever higher love brought us together. However, the idea of marriage, as an institution, wasn’t always something within our grasp.
Kentucky wouldn’t let same-sex couple adopt a child
When we met and decided to commit our lives to one another, there was no legal same-sex marriage anywhere in the United States. Not only could we not be married by law, but we also thought that committing our lives to one another meant giving up on the dream of having a family. But, thankfully, a higher love had other plans.
Back then, Kentucky would not let us adopt a child as a couple. We tried every avenue but kept running into brick walls. Eventually, we decided to utilize private adoption, but even that process only allowed for one of us to be the legal parent of our new twins. Either way, we were elated to become fathers to two boys: Tevin and Tyler. After the twins, we adopted our beautiful daughter, Mackenzie.But because same-sex marriage was still banned, I had to be the one to legally adopt our daughter, rather than both of us sharing in that honor, while Paul adopted Tevin and Tyler. And, lastly, came DeSean. DeSean practically adopted us — as a 7-year-old student of Paul’s, he asked for Paul to adopt him, and we just could not resist. He made our family whole. And while on paper, Tevin, Tyler and DeSean were Paul’s children and Mackenzie mine, we were one big happy family.
Ultimately though, legalities matter. Years ago, Paul was diagnosed with cancer. It was terrifying. Wading through the paperwork was a nightmare — one only made worse because we had no legal ties to one another. We loved each other deeply, we were committed to each other — we were even raising children together — but we were nothing in the eyes of the law.
Obergefell v. Hodges 10th anniversary reminds us our work is not done
This had to change. We were planners and wanted to prepare for any outcome and protect our family, just like every other parent wishes to do. And that is where Obergefell v. Hodges came in. We joined as plaintiffs in the landmark Supreme Court case that eventually ruled that same-sex marriage was constitutional throughout the entire United States.
Joining as plaintiffs was a whirlwind, but we knew we were doing the right thing. Our son, Tevin, still in college at the time, was featured in many media interviews fighting for the right for his dads to get married. We were (and are) so proud of him and so honored that he fought alongside us so that we could help families everywhere get the same deserved recognition as everyone else.
Now, on the 10th anniversary of the Obergefell v. Hodges decision, we are incredibly grateful for the progress our country has made and our small part in the history made. But we also acknowledge that the work is not done, and might not be final, so we must never stop working to make this world a more just place for every family.
Louisville residents Randy Johnson, a nurse, and Paul Campion, a teacher, are the adoptive fathers of four beautiful children and have encouraged their kids to speak up for themselves and work toward a better world. They have been together since 1991 and were married in July 2008 in California, as they were unable to get married in their home state of Kentucky at the time. In the fight for marriage equality, Randy and Paul were plaintiffs in the 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges Supreme Court case that ultimately granted same-sex couples the right to marry. They continue to be advocates for marriage equality and are the authors of the book “Higher Love: The Miraculous Story of a Family.
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This article originally appeared on Louisville Courier Journal:
We’re grateful for our Supreme Court same-sex marriage win. The work isn’t over. | Opinion
