- Since my teenage years, I believed that having children was something I never wanted.
- Yet, I understood that individuals can evolve over time, which could alter my choice as well.
- My partner expressed his desire for children, which made me reconsider my choice, and I can now envision having them as part of my future.
Since my teenage years, I’ve been saying I
do not wish to have children
My partner and I started our relationship when I was 20 years old, and even then, I openly expressed my disinterest in having children without ever saying “never.” I understood that at my age, people can evolve their perspectives. However, despite the passage of years, this indifference toward reproduction remained unchanged within me.
After six years together, he dropped a bombshell: After serious consideration, he realized he was very much
wanted to have kids
It was a challenging period. Every time we shared our predicament with others, they would say, “You should end things.” However, breaking up wasn’t something I desired, nor did he wish for it.
I recognized that perfection isn’t required to become a parent.
I struggled with this decision for several months. We had numerous open conversations about it. I discussed it with my therapist, my mother, and some of my friends who are mothers. Although everyone emphasized how significant a commitment it would be, they also helped alleviate my concerns regarding it entirely.
losing myself in motherhood
.
When I commit to something, I aim to master it. Additionally, I believed that raising kids demanded giving 110% of yourself to become their finest possible guardian. This expectation often deterred me from considering motherhood since perfection eludes me.
I am familiar with numerous excellent parents, such as my own. However, I have yet to encounter any who are flawless. Understanding that being a parent naturally comes with imperfections alleviated much of my worry.
For years, I had been terrified about becoming a parent, which made it challenging to envision a different path forward. It felt as though I had ingrained into my identity this aversion to having children. When I finally released that mindset, imagining a life filled with offspring became far more conceivable.
Now, children are in my foreseeable future.
A couple of years down the line, we’ve come to an agreement and I envision having kids someday. It’s clear that we each possess plenty of love to share, and I’m gradually beginning to contemplate how it might feel to channel that affection towards a child.
He realizes that having a child doesn’t mean I will stop writing or turn into an
stay-at-home mom
And that brings significant reassurance to me. Observing the amount of responsibility he shoulders regarding our dog reinforces that he won’t leave everything solely upon me.
Nowadays, we often bring up random topics like the suitable age for getting ears pierced, our opinions on sleepovers, and how we would react if our kid informed us they identified as transgender when they were just five years old. Up until now, we have found ourselves agreeing on these matters.
My sibling and their spouse
had their first baby
— my first nibling — and I believe I might be starting to feel some light baby fever. Currently, I am enthusiastic about the idea of having children, and we are preparing for that prospect both financially, emotionally, and in terms of our living situation.
Feeling “prepared” seems like an illusion—not only for parenthood, but for anything else as well.
major shift in life
.
I’m letting go of the urge to be excessively prepared for every situation, realizing that with the right people surrounding me, my life will expand and accommodate anything that comes my way, even perhaps a smallbundleofjoy.
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