We spoke with a panel of seasoned wedding planners from across the United States, and they’ve spilled the tea on the most common, and most frustrating, mistakes guests consistently make. So, before you RSVP to your next nuptial invitation, take note – avoiding these faux pas won’t just make the planners happy, it’ll ensure you’re a truly cherished guest.
The Dirty Dozen… and Three More: Guest Blunders You Need to Avoid
Ignoring the RSVP Deadline (and Method)
: This is number one for a reason. “It throws off catering counts, seating charts, and even floral arrangements,” says Sarah Miller, a planner based in Los Angeles. “And please, if it says RSVP online, don’t text the couple!”
Bringing an Uninvited Plus-One:
Unless your invitation explicitly states “and Guest,” assume it’s just for you. Showing up with an unexpected companion can lead to chaos, from no seat at the table to an extra cost for the couple.
Wearing White (or Off-White):
This cardinal sin still happens. “It’s the bride’s day to shine in white,” reminds New York City planner, Emily Chen. “Choose any other color from the rainbow!”
Being on Your Phone During the Ceremony:
Put it away. Seriously. “It’s distracting for everyone, especially the couple,” advises David Lee, a planner specializing in outdoor weddings. “Be present, enjoy the moment, and leave the professional photography to the hired pros.”
Monopolizing the Couple’s Time:
While you’re excited to congratulate them, remember dozens of other guests want to do the same. A quick hug and heartfelt well-wish are usually sufficient.
Giving an Unsolicited (and Drunken) Toast:
Unless you’ve been asked, do not grab the microphone. “We’ve seen it all, from rambling stories to inappropriate jokes,” sighs Brenda Rodriguez, a seasoned planner from Miami. “It derails the timeline and can be incredibly embarrassing.”
Bringing a Gift to the Wedding (When a Registry Exists):
While the thought is nice, it adds to the couple’s burden of transporting gifts home. “Most couples prefer cash gifts or items from their registry for a reason,” explains Chen.
Complaining About the Food/Drinks/Music:
This is someone’s special day. “It’s incredibly rude and disrespectful to voice your dislikes publicly,” says Miller. “Enjoy what’s offered, or politely decline.”
Letting Your Kids Run Wild:
If children are invited, ensure they are well-behaved and supervised. A wedding is not a playground.
Showing Up Late for the Ceremony:
This disrupts the processional and is distracting for everyone involved. Aim to arrive at least 15-20 minutes early.
Ignoring the Dress Code:
If the invitation specifies black-tie, don’t show up in jeans. Respect the couple’s vision for their day.
Taking Professional-Level Photos (and Getting in the Way):
While quick snaps are fine, don’t block the professional photographer or videographer. You could ruin precious memories.
Getting Excessively Drunk:
Celebrate responsibly. No one wants to be “that guest” who makes a scene or needs to be cut off.
Demanding Song Requests from the DJ:
The couple likely spent a lot of time curating their playlist. Trust the DJ to keep the party going with their selections.
Leaving Early Without Saying Goodbye:
A quick word to the couple or their parents is always appreciated. It’s a small gesture that shows your respect and appreciation for their invitation.
The Takeaway for Terrific Guests
Being a great wedding guest boils down to a few key principles: respect, consideration, and communication. By being mindful of the couple’s wishes, adhering to the etiquette, and understanding the incredible effort that goes into planning a wedding, you can ensure you’re a welcome and delightful presence. After all, the best gift you can give the happy couple is a stress-free and joyful celebration.
