When it comes to family obligations, the line between generosity and fairness can often become blurred. A recent post on Reddit highlights just how complicated things can get when personal time, skills, and familial expectations collide.
The story centers around a man who has been playing guitar for about three years. His 8-year-old nephew recently became interested in learning the instrument after being inspired by his uncle’s playing. The boy was eager to take lessons and improve, but his mother—26 years old and currently in a tight financial spot—expressed frustration over the cost of professional guitar tutoring, which she noted could be more than £50 per session.
In an effort to help, the uncle offered to teach his nephew himself—for a modest fee of £10 per month. This would save his sister a significant amount of money compared to hiring a professional tutor, while also allowing him to cover some of his own time and effort. However, the offer didn’t go as expected.
His sister reacted strongly to the idea of paying even a small fee for what she seemed to view as a simple favor. She reportedly became angry, accusing her brother of being selfish and unkind. She claimed he should be teaching the child for free simply because he’s family. Things escalated further when, days later, she revisited the request, only to be met with a final “no.” Her response was another outburst filled with insults, including comments questioning his musical ability and character.
The uncle, clearly shaken by the conflict, turned to Reddit to ask: Am I the asshole? He wasn’t sure if he had handled the situation correctly or if he had come across as too rigid. His main point was that while he would have loved to support his nephew’s interest, he didn’t feel comfortable offering his time completely for free—especially considering the effort involved and the fact that he would need to travel 40 minutes each way for every lesson.
The Reddit community responded in droves, with many users backing the uncle’s decision. Several commenters pointed out that teaching is a skill, and just because someone is family doesn’t mean they’re obligated to provide a service for free. Others noted that his sister’s reaction was unreasonable and that yelling or insulting someone over a voluntary offer is unacceptable behavior.
One commenter put it succinctly: “You’re not asking for much, and you’re still trying to help. She should be grateful, not aggressive.” Another suggested that perhaps the sister saw the time spent with her son as its own reward, but acknowledged that not everyone feels that way—and that’s okay.
Ultimately, this situation brings up a broader question about expectations within families. While many people are happy to help relatives out when possible, it’s important to remember that time, expertise, and emotional energy all have value. Offering help is generous; demanding it is not.
