I’m still completely lost about what I should be doing.
That was the opening line I penned for my FLORIDA TODAY parenting column,
Momsense
It made its debut for readers in April 2013. At that time, my children, Kristen and Jacob, were 10 and 6 years old respectively.
I found myself deeply involved in raising two children, juggling a full-time job, and striving to keep up appearances despite going through a divorce. At that time, I aimed to pen articles on contemporary parenting challenges and openly discuss my journey as a parent—the difficult moments included. All with the intention of bringing smiles to faces and reassuring others that they aren’t the only ones facing these struggles.
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The events included gatherings nobody enjoyed attending, which often left me stuck with excessive leftover birthday cake. Then there were those shopping excursions where an unexpected round of hide-and-seek turned some outings into chaotic scrambles akin to a “Code Adam” search at stores like Kohl’s. There was also the sight of toddlers stumbling during awkward social situations. Tackling infestations of head lice added another layer of distress. And then came the urgent pleas for assistance coming from young children in the bathroom: “Could I get help wiping my bottom?”
I recall dreaming about the time when I wouldn’t have to carry a stroller or diaper bag everywhere. I imagined having children who were grown-up enough to stay home alone for a couple of hours while I spent some time out with my friends.
A dozen years later, a portion of me still feels as though I
still
I’m not sure what I’m doing yet, but I have this strong desire to share my experiences with all of you who are just beginning your journey or are still navigating through it.
And please hear me out.
Cherish each and every moment, including the difficult ones. One day, you’ll long to relive those times when all you wanted was to quietly enter your infant’s bedroom just to observe their peaceful slumber. The day will come when you’d gladly welcome the chance of escorting your child to his initial preschool session and enduring his fears about being left alone again. There will be moments when you would want nothing more than to indulge their request for another reading of “Goodnight Moon” as part of your bedtime routine.
But you can’t.
Parenting never really stops; it simply transforms dramatically.
Perhaps you’re considering beginning a family. Alternatively, you might currently be raising children and questioning how much more of your patience can endure—or whether you can keep going with only four hours of sleep each night.
Our children mature; they cease vomiting onto our cherished garments. Incidents involving soiled diapers during flights become distant memories. Requests for the newest video games fade away as well. Instead, they start learning how to drive and discover their talents. Personal aspirations, objectives, and strategies begin shaping their lives. Consequently, your role transforms from requiring a U-Haul each August to transport possessions between successive college apartments to feeling increasingly unnecessary altogether.
People often say time flies. You might doubt it at present, but it truly does.
My daughter recently completed her college graduation, my son finished up high school, and I seemingly joined the 5-0 club, which has left me contemplating menopause and looking forward to a hip replacement scheduled for July.
Who am I now?
What
Am I? I’m still working that part out.
However, I’m certain about one thing—I feel an immense sense of pride as a mother, even though my part in my children’s upbringing has evolved. My former partner and I have managed to coparent effectively. Even with our separate homes, the addition of a new stepfather, and enduring the heartbreaking loss of their wonderful stepsister due to breast cancer four years back, my children have grown into remarkable individuals. Each of them has discovered their passion—and they’re thriving in it.
My kids corrected me over five years back when I was frequently consuming alcohol during evenings and weekends.
I stopped after my son pleaded with me to do so, tears welling up in his eyes.
.
Therefore, not only did I impart knowledge of life to them; they also shared lessons with me.
Parenting has no end. I’ve cherished these two from the instant they were conceived. This love will endure forever. My concern for them will persist until my very last breath.
However, that’s the informal agreement you make once you become a parent. It’s as though a part of your heart exists outside of your body.
It’s the most challenging role globally. Yet, the absolute finest one.
When the academic year ends and your home fills up with energetic children for several months, consider this last bit of advice from me. Plan an unforgettable journey without a strict itinerary to create precious moments together. Seize opportunities to laugh whenever possible. Offer support as a listening ear for other mothers who understand what you’re going through.
Keep in mind that if you feel like having an unproductive parenting moment coming on, it’s totally fine to retreat to your bathroom and yell into a cushion for a bit.
I wouldn’t be aware of that.
Paulson is a previous reporter and columnist for FLORIDA TODAY. You can contact her at
[email protected]
.
The article initially appeared in Florida Today:
The chapter on raising my children has come to an end | Momsense
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