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Silence Your Inner Critic: Take Control Now!

May 29, 2025

Silence Your Inner Critic: Take Control Now!

You truly lack competence in your role, and you’re particularly poor at concealing this fact. Your errors will likely derail both your professional journey and the business itself. This is precisely why all your colleagues despise you.

This view isn’t mine; it belongs to you.

These words originate directly from your “inner critic”—that constant intruder lurking within your mind, who berates you whenever something goes awry and undermines you even when things go well.

As I read in “Don’t Suppress Your Inner Critic; Engage With It,” a recent piece by Ron Carucci in the Harvard Business Review, he shares insights from his experience as an executive coach working with top-tier CEOs. According to a 2023 survey cited by Carucci, “97% of highly effective senior leaders have doubted certain aspects of their leadership skills.”

Should the great fish doubt their achievements, what chance does someone of modest capabilities like you and I have?

Given that you probably won’t eliminate your internal critic entirely, it’s wise to cultivate the emotional skills needed to manage it effectively. Ron Carucci has outlined four strategies for this purpose, and I’ll add some minor adjustments to ensure you stay resilient against giving up.

No. 1: Trace the Origin Story

The voice in your mind might sound like an incredibly wise and omnipotent business guru, yet everything it understands stems from childhood playtime experiences. Indeed, every taunt and injustice endured during your youth fuels the harsh judgments of your internal critic now.

As Carucci points out, ‘The critic’s voice is not the voice of truth; rather, it reflects the echoes of memory.’

As your inner critic understands you deeply, giving it a name can be beneficial. Carucci suggests naming it “Little Me Struggling to Cope.” However, I prefer being more specific; for instance, “Elementary School Me Constantly Chosen Last for Teams at Recess,” or “Adolescent Me Whose Parents Refuse Permission for a Nose Ring.”

Rather than allowing past events from childhood to torment you, embrace them instead. Think about how frequently parent-teacher conferences took place during your middle school years. As someone now well into their career, consider reviving this tradition by inviting your parents to visit your workplace for a parent-manager conference. Encourage them to bring along pictures of you as an infant and recordings of every birthday celebration you ever had. Should your supervisor fail to grasp just how remarkable you truly are, these mementos will provide insight into your upbringing, potentially helping explain some unconventional behaviors observed at the job.

No. 2: Distinguish the Technique from the Content

Your internal critic isn’t aiming to harm you; it’s attempting to shield you. To uncover the valuable insights within the ongoing stream of fear and skepticism, engage in dialogue with your inner critic. Don’t hesitate to allow your inner child to express itself freely.

Internal voice: This task is huge, and you’re bound to mess it up.

It’s quite an extensive task, so I’ll ensure I’m thoroughly prepared to carry it out perfectly.

Inner voice: You’ve failed.

You: You’re a jerk-face.

Inner critic: Loser!

You: Jerk-face!

You can carry out this conversation either in your diary or mentally, however, I suggest doing it aloud and with vigor. Once all your colleagues in the office hear you conversing with yourself, you might not receive additional significant tasks again, thus resolving many issues. (Just keep in mind: should you choose to dialogue during lunchtime, your internal critic will never foot the bill.)

No. 3: Begin with Self-Kindness, Not Criticism

Occasionally, your internal critic may be correct. When it highlights an error you’ve committed, it’s fine to grant yourself forgiveness and “grow through failures instead of being overwhelmed by them.”

“I definitely messed up with the launch of the new product, which might end up costing the company a significant amount of money,” you confess, “however, I am fundamentally a kind individual who once offered a homeless cat some milk. Therefore, I shouldn’t be too hard on myself over botching the product rollout or having someone else shoulder the responsibility for my error.”

Is this type of delusional rationalization effective? It seems to work for your manager, who wouldn’t even offer a stray cat so much as bupkis.

No. 4: Provide the Critic with a Revised Script

Your objective is to transform your inner critic “from a punisher into a guardian, from a saboteur into a tactician.”

Inner Critic: You should never have been hired for this job. You’re a total fake.

You: You’re completely correct. I’m stepping away.

Inner Critic: You lack the courage to walk away.

You: Just watch me.

Inner Critic: What actions will I take? How might I critique you?

That’s your issue. I’m planning to get my nose pierced.

Bob Goldman served as an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 firm. Individuals seeking support can reach him via email at [email protected] for a virtual listening ear. For additional information on Bob Goldman and to explore contributions from other contributors at The Syndicate, check out their site.
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