DEAR HARRIETTE: As parents, I’m certain many of us have gone through a conflict or disagreement between our children. I certainly have, but these usually don’t last long. Right now, two of my daughters aren’t talking to each other, and it’s been going on for several months. It all began when my older daughter made a joke about me owing her back pay because my younger daughter’s college tuition was more expensive than hers. My younger daughter, who is typically very calm, became extremely upset over the comment. She called her older sister ungrateful, rude, and spoiled. They had an argument unlike anything I’ve ever seen, and they haven’t spoken since. I tried discussing it with my younger daughter, but she refuses to apologize. I don’t believe her feelings were incorrect; the joke was definitely inappropriate. I think as a family, we should never treat each other in such a hostile manner. How can I help my daughters get back on track? — Family Disagreement
DEAR FAMILY DISPUTE: Instead of seeking apologies, focus on finding a path ahead. You can begin by bringing the two of them together to discuss the issue that caused the conflict. Explain that you have done your best to care for each of your daughters individually, according to their specific needs. It hurts you to see any jealousy or envy arising from how you supported their education—or any other aspect of their lives.
Inform them that family should always be the top priority. Indeed, there will be conflicts and disagreements, just as they experienced recently. That’s a natural part of life. However, family bonds should hold more significance than any argument. Encourage them to forgive one another for any hurtful words or actions and to pledge to restore their sisterly relationship. At times, it’s necessary to release the past. Urge them to take that step.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an employee who has been with me for almost eight years. As a small business owner, eight years is like having family. She has always been a valuable team member, but recently things have shifted. Her work is often incomplete or submitted late. It’s uncommon for her to arrive on time anymore. She frequently takes personal calls and has extended lunches as part of her routine. Given our history, I can’t believe she’s become a poor worker overnight. It seems very unlikely. I’ve had several serious but kind conversations with her. I’ve encouraged her to be open with me so that I can assist with any workplace changes she might be experiencing, but she insists everything is fine and that she will improve. I want to help, but it feels wrong to dig too deep. At this point, her performance is impacting the overall picture, and I may need to let her go, but I would truly hate to do that to someone who has been such a significant contributor over the years. What would you do? — Concerned Employer
DEAR RESPECTED EMPLOYER: Have a conversation with her and explain that her unreliable and increasingly unprofessional work performance is affecting her career prospects. Mention that you have discussed your concerns with her multiple times, but there has been no improvement. Inquire once more if there is an issue and if assistance is needed. Inform her that if she does not regain her former level of professionalism, she may face termination.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestyle expert and creator of DREAMLEAPERS, a program designed to assist individuals in achieving and realizing their dreams. You can submit questions to)[email protected]or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2025, HARRIETTE COLE
COPYRIGHT 2025, HARRIETTE COLE
