The Crisis of Marriage in Pakistan: A Call for Change
Recent court records reveal a troubling increase in khula cases, with an average of 70 to 80 cases filed daily in certain regions. This surge signals a deeper societal crisis that is eroding the very fabric of marriage in Pakistan. As a legal professional who has witnessed countless separations, I have observed that domestic abuse, incompatibility, and emotional neglect are the leading causes behind both love and arranged marriages breaking down.
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Many marriages in Pakistan are arranged without due consideration for compatibility or mutual understanding. Parents often prioritize convenience, social status, or tradition over the emotional and intellectual well-being of their children. This approach leads to unions that are more transactional than meaningful. For example, consider the case of Sidra Hameed, a bright literature student with aspirations of joining the civil service. At just 23 years old, she was married to a 33-year-old landlord who offered her no protection or respect. Surrounded by eight sisters-in-law, she became a source of unpaid labor, trapped in a suffocating environment. Her mental and physical health deteriorated, but no support came from her family or community.
This scenario is not uncommon. It reflects a broader pattern of women being forced into unhappy marriages with little recourse. The silence of parents only exacerbates the problem. Instead of offering genuine support, many families encourage daughters to “adjust” to their circumstances, even when those circumstances are harmful. This pressure can be devastating, pushing women toward depression, self-harm, or even suicide.
Marriage, at its core, should be built on mutual respect and compatibility. However, these values struggle to thrive in environments defined by fear, inequality, and control. True awareness and empathy can only grow in nurturing homes, not oppressive ones. It is time for a shift in mindset—one that prioritizes the emotional and psychological well-being of individuals over outdated customs.
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Parents must take a more active role in ensuring that their children’s marriages are based on consent and respect. Legal frameworks such as Nikkah contracts should include protections like deferred dower, financial rights, and clear legal safeguards. While Islam recognizes the right to marry by choice and upholds the dignity of women, these principles are frequently overlooked in practice.
Marriage should not be seen as an endpoint but as a lifelong partnership. A failed marriage is not a disgrace—it is a complex situation that requires compassion and understanding. What is truly tragic is the destruction of a person’s life in the process. Families must stand by their daughters, not turn away from them. If a woman must leave a marriage to survive, she should do so with the support of her loved ones, not in isolation.
The path forward requires systemic change, cultural awareness, and a commitment to protecting the rights and dignity of all individuals. By fostering open dialogue, promoting legal reforms, and challenging harmful traditions, society can begin to address the deep-rooted issues that continue to undermine marriages in Pakistan. It is time to ensure that every individual, regardless of gender, has the freedom to live, learn, and dream without fear or oppression.
