A Struggle for Support: An Autistic Child’s Journey and a Family’s Decision to Move Abroad
Paul Kelly, a 47-year-old data manager from Epsom, has spent thousands of pounds on a legal battle to secure the support his autistic son, Sebastian, needs. Now, he and his family are considering moving abroad in search of better options.
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The Challenges of School Life
Sebastian, 11, is autistic, dyslexic, and has ADHD and sensory processing issues. These conditions make it difficult for him to cope in noisy or chaotic environments. From a young age, his need for additional support was evident. He was diagnosed by a paediatrician at nursery when he was three years old. His development was delayed; he didn’t speak clearly until he was three and a half.
At primary school, which was a mainstream state school, Sebastian struggled without one-to-one support. With only one teacher and assistant for 35 children, it was challenging for him to receive the attention he needed. As a result, he became extremely anxious and often faked sickness or begged not to go to school. The school even issued a red letter warning that they would report the family to Child Services if the absences continued.
When he did attend, he would hide from other children during playtime. Without the necessary support, it was an unmitigated disaster. Seeing his child find school so distressing was heartbreaking for Paul.
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The Role of the SENCO and Educational Psychologist
The Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCO) at the school, who had a heavy workload, arranged for an educational psychologist to assess Sebastian. The psychologist confirmed the paediatrician’s diagnosis and acknowledged that while Sebastian didn’t meet the criteria for a specialist setting, he couldn’t keep up in a mainstream environment without assistance. This led to the application for an Education, Health and Care Plan (ECHP), which outlined the support required.
After two appeals, the ECHP was granted in 2020. Despite this, the local council refused to fund the education. The family made the difficult decision to pay for a private school with 15 hours of one-to-one support. However, the financial strain was immense, and the family eventually went to a tribunal to fight for their case.
Legal Battles and Financial Strain
Despite the tribunal ruling in their favor, the local authority did not pay for the one-to-one support, leaving the family with a £27,000 bill. The process for the ECHP became complicated again as Sebastian transitioned from primary to secondary school. The local authority sent him to a special school over an hour away, which wasn’t suitable for his needs.
The family contested the decision, but the school they initially requested rescinded its offer after learning about the council’s plan. This left them with no choice but to look elsewhere. The legal fees were becoming too costly, and the stress was taking a toll on the family.
A New Beginning Abroad
Paul’s wife is from Spain, so the family explored options there. They found an international school that offered 15 hours of one-to-one support for £21,000 per year—significantly less than what they had been paying in the UK. The family also hoped the move would provide a healthier environment for both Sebastian and their daughter, who is 13 and doesn’t have special educational needs.
The new school has a relaxed, positive atmosphere, and the family is excited about the change. The cost of living is lower, the weather is better, and the food is more natural. For Sebastian, this is a fresh start, and for the family, it’s a way to avoid the stress of the UK system.
Concerns About the Future of Support Systems
Paul is worried about the future of support systems for children with special educational needs. He questions the government’s idea of scrapping ECHPs and wonders what the alternative will be. While he and his wife were able to fight for Sebastian, many families cannot afford to do the same. He fears that without real reform, more children will be left behind, and the cost to the state will only increase in the long term.
