Understanding the Power of Empathic Listening
What does it truly mean to listen to someone? Is it simply hearing the words they say and processing them from your own perspective? According to licensed psychologist Dr. Brittany McGeehan, there’s a more meaningful way to listen that involves empathy. While many are familiar with communication styles like empathic listening, it’s often underutilized and worth learning. It’s not just about giving compliments; it’s a way to show someone you’re actively trying to understand their emotions and perspective. There are even specific phrases you can use to become an empathetic listener.
Practicing this style of listening can help someone feel less emotionally isolated. It also creates a safe, positive, and nonjudgmental space where individuals can talk about their problems. Psychologists use this approach daily in their practices, but through intention, words, and body language, anyone can apply it in their everyday life. As a result, you’ll become more supportive of those around you.
What Is Empathic Listening?
Empathic listening is a communication style that emphasizes compassion and making someone feel supported. According to Dr. McGeehan, it’s the practice of tuning into someone’s experience with the intention to understand rather than fix. “It’s more than just hearing words—it’s being present with the emotions behind them and responding in a way that makes the speaker feel seen, not analyzed or managed.”
There are several reasons why becoming an empathic listener is important. “It builds trust, deepens connection, and creates safety,” Dr. McGeehan explains. “When someone feels truly heard, their nervous system relaxes. They often find their own clarity because your presence gave them room to access it.” Essentially, you’re acting as their mirror and giving them a way to work through their problems without judgment.
How Do You Become a More Empathetic Listener?
Empathic listening requires being intentional and open to someone else’s perspective. Dr. McGeehan suggests starting by listening without planning your response. “Let go of the need to rescue, fix, or debate. Stay curious.” She also recommends practicing mirroring, which involves reflecting back what you hear. Phrases like, “What I hear you saying is… did I get that right?” can be helpful.
Above all, she advises asking how something feels before offering any insight or advice. Thinking before reacting is also key. “You can also check your body language: soften your eyes, nod occasionally, and face them fully,” she adds. These nonverbal cues communicate availability and openness, even if you say nothing at all.
9 Best Empathic Listening Phrases
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“That sounds hard.”
This phrase helps someone feel less alone and more supported. It validates their experience without comparing or minimizing their feelings. -
“I can hear how much this is impacting you.”
This shows you’re paying attention to the emotional weight of their situation, reinforcing that you’re truly listening. -
“I’m with you.”
This simple statement reassures someone that they’re not alone and that you’re available for support, no matter what. -
“You make sense.”
Telling someone their thoughts make sense counters shame and lets them know their feelings are valid. -
“Tell me more about that.”
This phrase invites depth and shows you’re curious about their story, creating a safe space for them to open up. -
“It’s okay to feel that.”
This gives permission to express emotions without needing to perform composure, helping people feel free to be themselves. -
“I’m not going anywhere.”
This is a powerful reassurance for someone worried about abandonment or feeling like a burden. -
“I hear you.”
A basic but effective phrase that acknowledges the person’s experience and lets them know they’re not speaking into a void. -
“Would it help to talk it out, or just have me sit with you?”
This offers choice and honors autonomy, signaling that your role is to support—not steer—the conversation.
By incorporating these phrases into your interactions, you can become a more empathetic listener and create deeper, more meaningful connections with others.
